M|O|N|G|K|O|L

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Cambodian Wedding

Filed under: Cambodia, Khmer — by M|O|N|G|K|O|L @ 8:40 PM

The other day a classmate of mine was asking me questions about Cambodia. She told me she had been so interested in our country yet knows very little about it–an unsurprising situation I often encounter with foreigners. Our chat grew more interesting from one question to another, with the most interesting part being when we started to talk about Cambodian weddings. She was so amazed when I started to describe how tiring, colorful and lengthy weddings can be. Without any real visual aids, she could only imagine how impressive it might be. I then promised her I’d do a write-up with pictures on my blog for her later. And now here it is!

One of the most important rituals in Cambodians’ life is their wedding. A proper Khmer wedding is very colorful and filled with ceremonies and celebrations. It can last from as short as one morning to as long as three days and nights, depending on the financial situation and social status of the bride and groom’s families. According to the Khmer Institute’s website, ‘three’ is considered to be an especially auspicious number by Cambodians because of its association with the “three jewels” of Buddhism: the Buddha, the Sangha (brotherhood of monks), and the Dharma (the Buddha’s teachings). Somehow, due to the demands of modern day life today, both in Cambodia and overseas, most wedding ceremonies are completed in just one day, with the majority following a pattern as follows.

The wedding began early in the morning with the bridegroom, dressed in traditional Cambodian costume, and his family traveling to the bride’s home bearing gifts to the bride’s family as dowry. Family members and friends are introduced, and wedding rings exchanged.

Morning Procession. Since I have no pictures for this ceremony from a real wedding, I am using those from IFL’s Culture Day 2005 Fashion Show instead.

This is followed by breakfast of porridge, fruit and sweets while the master of ceremony and companion keep the audience entertained with folk songs. Among Cambodians of Chinese descent, the tea ceremony will be held before breakfast for the guests.

Breakfast is followed by the hair-cutting ceremony which is a must at all weddings. It is a traditional rite handed down from the old days to add merriment to the wedding. Although in the old days the hair-cutting was for real, nowadays a mock hair cut is staged. The couple, having changed into traditional outfits of gold and yellow, are seated on decorated chairs. The master of ceremony and his companion then teases them and the family members much to the delight of those present. Carrying a tray with scissors, a comb and a bottle of hair spray, the first person given the honor to cut their hair is the family matriarch, who pretends to cut the hair of the bridegroom. Soon she retrieves a gold ring from the hair which have earlier been placed there by the priest. She does the same to the bride after which the expensive hair spray is used. This ritual is repeated by other elderly folk at the ceremony. Retrieving the gold or silver rings is to signify that the couple will have a prosperous life.

Costumes for Haircutting Ceremony

The solemnisation of the wedding then follows. The bridegroom, after another change of clothes — this time dressed like royalty, approaches the entrance of the house where the bride, in a dazzling red outfit with gold embroidery, awaits him.

Knot-tying Ceremony

The washing of the feet ceremony is held where traditionally the bride placed the groom’s feet on a tray and washed them. These days, however, she merely sprays cologne over the feet. The priest holds their hands together and chants. And after blessings from the parents, the couple put their hands on a pillow and a sword is placed across their closed palms. In this final and most memorable stage of the wedding, family members and friends tie the bride and groom’s left and right wrists with blessing strings. The praises and well-wishes of happiness, good health, success, prosperity, and long-lasting love are acknowledged and witnessed by the loud sound of the gong and joyful cheer. The ceremony is concluded with a shower of palm flowers thrown over the new couple and a sumptuous dinner later at night with more songs and dances to entertain everyone.

Sarah, hope this summary clears things up for you. Cheers!

Reference: Khmer Institute

20 Comments »

  1. [...] Original post by M|O|N|G|K|O|L [...]

    Pingback by hair styles cut » Cambodian Wedding — Sunday, March 11, 2007 @ 9:37 PM

  2. what is a traditional Cambodian gift to give the bride for a shower?

    Comment by Wendie — Wednesday, April 18, 2007 @ 10:40 PM

  3. You can offer almost anything, I guess, because Cambodians don’t normally celebrate a wedding shower.

    Comment by M|O|N|G|K|O|L — Wednesday, April 18, 2007 @ 10:44 PM

  4. A co-worker is going to Cambodia to marry. She is coming from a wealthy family, he has been in this country since he was 5. I would like to have a gift for them when he brings his new bride home. To make them both feel honored, I would like a suggestion for a more traditional gift given by a friend of the groom.

    Thanks,
    Mary

    Comment by Mariko — Saturday, April 28, 2007 @ 8:25 PM

  5. I am planning on getting marry in Sept. of this year. I am trying to find a place that could print wedding invitation in both cambodian and english.

    Thanks,
    Savon

    Comment by Savon — Wednesday, June 13, 2007 @ 10:35 PM

  6. Are you in Cambodia or America?

    Comment by M|O|N|G|K|O|L — Wednesday, June 13, 2007 @ 10:39 PM

  7. Hi

    I’m a Cambodian from New Zealand and i’m really interested in the hair styles of the cambodian wedding, would love to see something on your website about the different hair style for each ceremony.

    thanks

    Comment by Nary — Sunday, September 23, 2007 @ 11:32 PM

  8. i’m planning on getting married in a short amount of time but the engagement ceremony is something that i can’t seem to track down. one of my cousins had an engagement ceremony the day before she got married and everyone was mad because they accidently did the marriage ceremony so if you can tell me how it goes please mail me or something.
    thank you

    Comment by Sokmarlly — Wednesday, January 30, 2008 @ 1:29 PM

  9. We are hosting an engagement party for my newphew and his fiancee. She is Cambodian-American. I would like infomation about traditional Cambodian engagement party so I can blend our two cultures for the celebration.

    Comment by Connie — Sunday, July 13, 2008 @ 9:50 PM

  10. I am an american guy marrying a cambodian woman. I don’t know if it would have been different if I were kmer, but all the engagement party consisted of was a large meal with lots of invited guests. Nothing more than a social hour.

    Comment by dan — Sunday, August 24, 2008 @ 7:27 AM

  11. Hi. Is there a book on actually planning a Cambodian wedding? I’m feeling very overwhelmed trying to plan my wedding for this upcoming summer. My groom is American and I’m Cambodian. My dad doesn’t really remember the rules, traditions, and rituals of a Cambodian wedding. I don’t know who to call or where to even begin. Any suggestions? I also live in CO which does not have a big Cambodian population. Any suggestions where I can order things for the wedding at a fair price? Thank you!

    Comment by Arunrith Thim — Tuesday, October 28, 2008 @ 1:01 AM

  12. (lol like im really going to put my real name here =.=)

    My sister had a Cambodian Wedding and there was a little bit different things in the ceremony, one of them was there was a parade outside the house, second, that there was lots of chanting, and third that there was also what I call “splashing of the water” and I’m not sure there was Knot-tying Ceremony either, so idk.

    Comment by CambodianCanadianGirl — Tuesday, October 28, 2008 @ 7:12 PM

  13. I live in the California, Bay Area, is there a place to rent traditional Cambodian Wedding Outfits.

    Thanks.

    Comment by eileen — Saturday, November 1, 2008 @ 3:48 PM

  14. [...] by his foreign classmate about Khmer wedding, Cambodian blogger Mongkol has an answer in his version as follow: One of the most important [...]

    Pingback by Cambopedia » Cambodia: Cambodian weddings: Rediscover Cambodia — Sunday, March 1, 2009 @ 2:16 AM

  15. I’m Kimseng, a student at ITC ( Institute of Technology of Cambodia ). I try to find a topic for my oral English exam at the end of this month the 27th. . Now I think I choose ” Khmer Wedding” as my topic. I would like some help. My e-mail neykimseng@yahoo.com. Thank a lots.

    Comment by Ney Kimseng — Wednesday, April 22, 2009 @ 4:03 AM

  16. Did you find a place to rent a costume for a Cambodian wedding?My friend from the Bay area wants to know. I live IN OREGON. lOIS

    Comment by Lois Krebs — Friday, May 1, 2009 @ 8:27 AM

  17. Fellow Fulbrigther, thanks for such nice description of a Cambodian wedding. I just received a call from a prospective client for our services (wedding photography and videography) she is Thai getting married to a Cambodian fellow. We have never done a Cambodian wedding. This is going to be a cultural interesting event.
    Thank again,
    Victor
    Fulbright Senior Fellow

    Comment by Victor — Friday, May 1, 2009 @ 4:27 PM

  18. Hi,

    Love your website. Beautiful Cambodian Outfits. Actually, I have read some of the messages on your site and I have answer to some of the common questions people asked you. I wish I have a fully functional website to show everyone, however, I haven’t have the time to create one yet. Actually, I currently work part-time as a Cambodian Wedding Planner. I have all the traditional wedding clothes, kben, jewelries, hair accessories, and wedding gown for rental. I live in Bakersfield, CA and travel to Fresno, LA, and Long Beach to do hair, make-up and dressing up for those who need my service. I would really appreciated your referral if you can let your friends, families, or someone know that I can provide the service. My email is jenni_khu@yahoo.com. Tel: 661-428-4516.

    Thanks ,
    Pheap Chan

    Comment by Pheap Chan — Tuesday, May 19, 2009 @ 2:51 PM

  19. I just wanted to relay some of the meanings that were explained to me by elders of years past. The meaning of the foot washing ceremony: the bride washing of the groom’s foot symbolizes his duties to his new life, that from this day forward, his path in life is for his wife, her washing his foot means she’s literally erasing his previous path in life. Now he takes his new path with his wife in front of him (as also indicated in the groom holding onto her sbay or scarf – indicating he will follow her as his path is with her now). Now the sword ceremony: this symbolizes that the couple must protect each other, that they need to keep any harmful forces (ill intentioned friends/family/spirits) away from their union, to not let any harm come to them.

    Comment by feet washing and sword ceremonies — Tuesday, June 16, 2009 @ 4:06 AM

  20. My fiancee and I are getting married April 3rd of 2010. Most of the wedding is going to be a typical american wedding, however since my fiancee is Cambodian and his parents have been in the states for about 20 years now. I feel like I should add some Cambodian traditions, I was thinking maybe half way through changing into a traditional Cambodian wedding dress. I was just wondering if you could give me some ideas on how to add more of their culture. Thanks so much!

    Comment by Ashley — Monday, June 29, 2009 @ 11:20 PM


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