You Know You’re Cambodian When…

Palin Brutally Punk’d by Fake French President Sarkozy: A Must-Watch

The popular Montreal comedy duo Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel, aka “The Masked Avengers” ( Les Justiciers Masqués ) are notorious for prank-calling heads of state and celebrities who take themselves a little too seriously. Surely none take themselves so seriously as Sarah Palin. She was pranked by the pair today when they social-hacked their way past security and convinced her she was speaking to Nicolas Sarkozy, the president of France.

Fake Sarkozy tells Palin that his wife is “hot in bed,” drops plenty of hints it’s a fake call, and suggests Palin would make a good president “one day you too.” She replies, “well, maybe in eight years!” Snip:

He tells Palin one of his favorite pastimes is hunting, also a passion of the 44-year-old Alaska governor.”I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun,” the fake Sarkozy says.

He proposes they go hunting together by helicopter, something he says he has never done.

“Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together while we’re getting work done,” Palin counters. “We can kill two birds with one stone that way.”

The comedian jokes that they shouldn’t bring Cheney along on the hunt, referring to the 2006 incident in which the vice-president shot and injured a friend while hunting quail.

“I’ll be a careful shot,” responds Palin.

Playing off the governor’s much-mocked comment in an early television interview that she had insights into foreign policy because “you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska,” the caller tells her: “You know we have a lot in common also, because … from my house I can see Belgium.”

She replies: “Well, see, we’re right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.”

(…) He also tells the Alaska governor that he loved the “documentary” made about her and referred to a pornographic film with a Palin look-alike made by Hustler founder Larry Flynt. She answers tentatively, “Ohh, good, thank you, yes.”

Perhaps most damning of all: at the very end of the call, despite the prank caller identifying himself as phoning in from MONTREAL, Palin tells “Bexie” as she hands the phone back that it’s a “radio station from France.”

Poor Sarah Palin!!!

Only the English Could Have Invented This Language

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,  how come Mother’s not Mop?

AND IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES
THEN PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES
AND THE GERMANS, GERMS.

Vietnamese Nail Salon

Almost 99% of nail salons in the United States are run by Vietnamese. Let’s check out to what Anjelah Johnson has to say about her experience at a Vietnamese salon. So hilarious!

New Mathematical Formula: 25 Divided By 5 = 14

Check this out guys! See if you can beat this formula. Very creative and hilarious!

Shot of the Week: The Bean

This is the Bean or Cloud Gate, a famous public sculpture from Millennium Park in Downtown Chicago. I took this during my visit to the city in early January this year. I used selective color on this one, leaving only the color in the reflection.

Procrastination Flowchart

Click on the picture to enlarge! I would like to dedicate this cool chart to all the greatest procrastinators out there, including myself! Tell me how to get rid of this bad habit!!!

Men Vs. Women: The Difference

Why Asian Guys Can’t Get White Girls?

Kung Fu Vs. Yoga

Which one is better? From this clip, Yoga seems incredibly amazing.

The Donut King: Super Hilarious

A Perfect Date With បារាំងអាចម៍កុក

Speed Bandits

Should Cambodia introduce the same thing?

Funny Thai Marie France Ad

The Facebook Skit

Specially dedicated to all the FACEBOOK fans out there!

Condolicious

Laugh or Get Spanked?

Three Minutes of Japanese English

This is a clip from a Japanese TV show where players are required to watch a video of an English lesson. To win the game, all contestants must make sure they do not laugh. Failing to do so will result in disqualification and spanking.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll definitely lose this game big time. Try it and get spanked!

Help Me, Tech Support!

PROBLEM

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

TECH SUPPORT’S RESPONSE

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: “http: I Thought You Loved Me.HTML” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

A Special X’mas Box

Weapons of Math Instruction

At New York’s Kennedy airport today, an individual — later discovered to be a public school teacher — was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the attorney general said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,” a Justice Department spokesman said. “They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

A repost from Khmerican.net

Hu is leading China?

Chinese Vs. American

 

While doing my grocery shopping yesterday, I found these on one of the shelves. Thinking about it, I just couldn’t help laughing…

A question for you: Is everything American always bigger than Chinese’s?

Attractive Professions

In a bid to try and BEAUTIFY Professional Titles do not be surprised to see these awesome titles.. Which one do you wanna be? There are just so many for you to choose from. I really love the eleventh and the last two.

 

OLD TITLES	NEW TITLES
*Garden Boy	: Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist
*House Maid	: Family Environs Upkeep Manager
*Receptionist	: Front Office Manager/Office Access Control
*Typist	: Printed Document Handler
*Messenger	: Business Communications Conveyer
*Window Cleaner	: Transparent Wall Technician
*Temporary Teacher	: Associate Tutor
*Tea Boy	: Refreshment Overseer
*Garbage Collector	: Public Sanitation Technician
*Watchman	: Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer
*Prostitute	: Practical Sexual Relations Officer
*Thief	: Wealth Distribution Officer
*Driver	: Automobile Propulsion Specialist
*Maid	: Domestic Operations Specialist
*Employee without Portfolio	: Administration Manager
*Cook	: Food Preparation Officer
*Unemployed	: Township Management
*Gossiping	: Research Management

How to be Cambodian?

Watch this and choke yourself with laughter! Are you good enough to be a Cambodian yet?

The Mootrix

Bush-Blair’s Endless Love

The World Without Engineers

Aeronautical Engineers

Mechanical Engineers

Romeo’s Letter to Juliet

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the
08th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on
the 07th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a
prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.  Of course, upon
completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be
shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take
up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be
taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,
failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I
shall be considering someone else.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

Romeo

Engineer’s Description of Women…

Interesting Facts…

Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.

Like fingerprints, everyone’s ‘tongue print’ is different.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

Our eyes remain ‘more or less’ the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears never stop growing.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7:00am, you will arrive in Honolulu at approximately 4:30pm the previous day.

Scientists in Australia’s Parkes Observatory thought they had positive proof of alien life, when they began picking up radio-waves from space. However, after investigation, the radio emissions were traced to a microwave in the building.

Strange-but-true The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.

Cambodia makes adultery a crime

PHNOM PENH (AFP) – Unfaithful spouses in Cambodia face up to a year in prison after the country’s lower house of parliament passed a law that bans adultery as well as polygamy and incest.

The law would punish Cambodians for extra-marital relations or incest with between a month and a year in prison, plus a fine of up to 250 dollars.

Formally marrying a second spouse would be punishable by between six months and one year in prison, plus the same fine.

The Senate still must approve the law, which then goes to King Norodom Sihamoni for signing, but both are considered formalities.

The law was approved by 64 of Cambodia’s 123 MPs, with opposition parties boycotting the vote on a law they consider to be draconian.

“This law will be good only on paper, but it won’t be properly enforced,” opposition party leader Sam Rainsy told reporters.

“The real aim is that they will use this law as a tool against people they want to politically mistreat.”

Royalist lawmaker Monh Saphan warned the law would “interfere in the private lives of individuals,” and said the nation would be better served by toughening anti-corruption laws.

But national assembly president Heng Samrin said the law would help strengthen the kingdom’s morals.

“This law can also help to reduce corruption, because if a government official has many wives or mistresses, he will become greedy for the state’s money,” he said.

The opposition has denounced the law as a throwback to the genocidal Khmer Rouge regime that ruled the country from 1975-1979, when extra-marital affairs were punished by execution.

Prime Minister Hun Sen proposed the law five months ago, after he publicly grumbled about government officials bringing their mistresses instead of their wives to official functions.

Although polygamy is a common practice in traditional Khmer families, the law would notably affect the leader of the royalist FUNCINPEC party, Prince Norodom Ranariddh, who is often seen in public with his mistress.

Prince Ranariddh was the president of parliament until early this year, when it changed the requirements for a parliamentary majority and handed control of the legislature over to Hun Sen’s party.

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Canstruction Competition

Architects and engineers recently competed to see whose team could build the most spectacular structure using little cans of food at Canstruction, the 13th Annual NYC Design and Build Competition in New York.

What do you think this is? It seems like M&M…

Giant Cobra

King Kong

Butterfly

Mermaid

Giant Lotus